OH: So You Think You’re a Hustler?

Being a Hustler used to mean something. If you go back far enough, it meant that your office was a seedy alley, and you had to have at least one eye out for the boys in blue. The meaning has certainly changed since that time, but some “posers” out there seem to be treating the word like it doesn’t have any meaning left at all.

Well, us “Oh Gees” have some news for them. The word “hustler” does mean something, and if you have to ask, then you don’t qualify. You ain’t a hustler because you remembered to run all your errands today, you ain’t a hustler because you turned in your last project a day early, and you sure as hell ain’t a hustler because you were too scared to say no when your boss told you to come in Saturday.

You see, hustling isn’t an activity that you turn on and off, it’s a lifestyle. Not an easy one, at that. Sure, the rewards can be awesome, but it takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get that far. You also have to understand that making it doesn’t mean letting up, it just means digging your heels in harder.

For all the shorties waiting for the sermon: Here’s what it REALLY means to be a hustler:

You Can Do More than One Thing, and Do Them All Well

If you’re making all your money in just one way, you ain’t a hustler. Maybe you’re a lucky sonofabitch who hit it big with your first hustle, but if you put down your stakes, you ain’t a hustler anymore—Maybe a farmer or some other apt allusion. The real hustler places as many bets as possible, because any and all of them could pay off someday.

The real hustler doesn’t stick to just one area of expertise. A healthy hustlin’ portfolio may include anything from advertising to real estate, venture capital investing, penny stocks, ebook publishing, app creation, social media management, domain flipping, or consulting. There’s certainly a lot more than that, but don’t expect to hear a word about them until they’ve already been strip-mined.

The hustler is also good at whatever they do. Not because they’re talented (though many of them are pretty clever). They’re good at everything they do because they don’t dwell on anything that doesn’t work for them. If you think a hustler’s portfolio looks chunky, wait until you see the size of the scrap heap that makes up their ex-ventures.

You Hate Sleep

Who could possibly hate sleep? Hustlers, that’s who. Because they have SHIT. TO. DO. For the real hustler, sleeping is like taking a break to stretch in the middle of an Olympic hundred-meter dash. A real hustler can give you the dollar value lost for every hour that is spent lying motionless in a bed. It’s a huge waste of money, and a huge waste of opportunity.

We live in a global world, after all. There’s always something going on somewhere. If some toy just caught on in Japan, the hustler needs to know. If some company just lost a patent to some other company, the hustler needs to know. If some crazed hacker just released the Google algorithm, the hustler needs to know.

Being 8 hours late in the Hustler world is like being a year late in the brick and mortar world. You can still get on board, but you’re fighting people that already have the high ground. Maybe now you can understand why Hustlers keep their caffeine pills in PEZ dispensers.


You work hard? Good for you, but you ain’t a hustler. You try a lot of different things? Good for you, but you ain’t a hustler. You’re doing hard time for running weapons and drugs in a scheme to make bank by playing two cartels against one another? You are definitely a hustler. For everyone else though, you don’t qualify until you are actually making money, and using that money to empower brand new hustles.

Most wannabe hustlers don’t start out making money, and there are plenty of hustlers who make bank only long enough to put their money on the wrong metaphorical horse and lose it all. These people have the potential to be hustlers again, but until they have the capital, they are purely of the “ex-” variety. The first step in being a hustler is having a hustle that actually makes enough money to be qualified as a hustle.

In the loosest sense, “enough” money is one cent over the entry fee. That one cent is now the vehicle that will drive the next hustle. Once one hustle pays off, you can use it to chase another. Once both of them are paying off, you can now invest in TWO new hustles. Once all four of those are paying off, you can invest in FOUR more…holy hell, you’re a hustler.

Closing Thoughts—If You Found Out You’re Not A Hustler, Do You Still Want to be One?

We hustlers admit: We wouldn’t do anything else. However you should consider that it might just be because more than a few of us took the first highway exit to crazytown a long time ago. After all, we’re willing to give up our health and relationships for money that we plan to use slightly more conservatively than the average Las Vegas tourist. There are easier lives, and there are safer investments.

I guess the takeaway is this: If you’re a hustler, it’s because you have to be. It’s in your blood that you can’t sit still and you can’t be happy doing anything else. That choice comes with a lot of glory, but it also comes with more than it’s fair share of of pain and exhaustion. So the next time you want to drop the name “hustler”, show some respect.

– From I.M.H.O

I’m not a businessman, I’m a Business, man! – Jayz 



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